From Cancer Survivor to Men’s Health Activist: Peter Dornan’s Recovery After Prostate Cancer

Physiotherapist, writer and prostate cancer survivor, Peter Dornan was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the age of 52. As a health professional, he felt shocked and vulnerable upon receiving his diagnosis. He promptly followed his oncologist's recommendation to best treat the cancer, through the surgical removal of his prostate.

While it saved his life at the time, the side effects of prostatectomy took him by surprise, and affected his life significantly. During his recovery, he faced difficulties with incontinence, impotence and depression. These started to impact his career, mental health, and other aspects of his life as well, and simply wasn’t sustainable.

“Incontinence is depressing. You don't notice the shelves of incontinence pads in supermarkets until you need them, and I needed six pads a day. A cough, laugh or sneeze, or even a minor lifting effort risked a spontaneous urine discharge,” mentioned Peter.

In his search to improve his quality of life, he began to focus on exercises that strengthened the pelvic floor and abdominal muscles. Developing the strength and functionality of these muscles across a few years helped to improve urinary control and retention immensely, and provided him with a new lease on life.

Eventually, he developed his own program for resolving issues with incontinence, which helped him with his depression as well. His rebound after recovery was strong, and even helped him scale Mount Kilimanjaro at age 60.

However, as he searched for support and solutions – his journey highlighted the lack of resources available for men with prostate cancer. Despite the difficulties they faced, men were simply more hesitant to talk about their difficulties, especially on such a sensitive topic. Some may not want to be seen as ‘weak’, or to admit their problems. Beyond his recovery, Peter still wanted to help resolve this gap in support. He went on to help establish the Brisbane Prostate Cancer Support Group, in a bid to help other men better manage the side effects of prostate cancer treatment. Another aim for the group was to help bring men together to find comfort in mutual support.

Furthermore, a study also found that the relationship between treatment side effects and emotional distress worked both ways among prostate cancer survivors. Those who suffered worse urinary, sexual, and bowel dysfunction after treatment tended to be more distressed compared to those who did not.

On the flip side, if the patients were more distressed after treatment than others, they might have more physical side effects later as well. Finding the balance between managing physical and emotional stresses of prostate cancer could then help improve one’s chances of a less distressing recovery. Peter shared his experience about how he managed such side effects of his prostatectomy in his book, Conquering Incontinence.

Here are some selected quotes from the book, which hopefully showcase his reflections on the hardships faced, and provide you with more strength and hope:

"As I moved from loss to life, from woundedness to wholeness, and from longing to acceptance, Noel [Peter’s friend] revealed another [John] O'Donohue insight: ‘as the body ages, the soul gains in richness, becoming deeper and stronger. But the greatest gift to me was the renewed awareness that my need for family and friends was far greater than any other drive, need or ambition’."

"A recent survey from our own Prostate Cancer Support Group in Brisbane, is the fact that more than 50% of men who replied stated they had been diagnosed with or experienced depression.

This shows a strikingly high prevalence of depression among prostate cancer patients and survivors. It underscores the significant emotional and psychological impact that prostate cancer diagnosis and treatment can have on men's mental well-being."

"Bad things happen to everybody. Do not waste time trying to apportion blame. Instead of asking ‘Why me?’, a better question is ‘Why not me?’. You are a human being and there are no guarantees in life. It simply happens. There is such a phenomenon in life as luck — good luck and bad luck. Eventually, build bridges, draw a line and put it behind you. Understand what you’ve been through, accept it, treat it and get on with your life."

"The idea is to recognise the feeling of these emotions, their texture, their moisture, the shiver down the back, the quick flash of heat that crosses your brain — then say: ‘OK, this is fear. Step away from it. This is rage. Now forget it.’ Let the emotion wash over you. It won’t and can’t hurt you. It will only help. If you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself: ‘All right, it’s just fear. I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is — a primitive reaction — with overkill!’"

(Cited from Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom, 2001)

"One of the positive effects of a cancer diagnosis is that it can force you into being more authentic: more aware of truths and of the fictions of the roles we too easily accept as our lives."

"The point is, sex is important to me. However, most of us take it very much for granted — although we don’t realise this truth until it has been taken from us. It is a bit like losing our careers. We become very insecure: we want to feel that we are the providers as well as the procreators."

"After all, in the general community, 50% of men over the age of 50 are impotent (from other medical conditions such as diabetes, alcoholism and cardiovascular problems), and this percentage increases by 10 per cent for every decade of life. That means a great many men have been through this and continue to live a meaningful and contented life. You can too."