Coping With a Colorectal Cancer Diagnosis

Nobody wants to hear the words “you have cancer”, and yet these words alone are enough to make you feel like your life’s been turned upside down. Even before receiving an official diagnosis, the period you spend waiting can be excruciating and fraught with anxiety. Worries about whether it’s really cancer, how severe it might be, if it can be treated and how effective the treatments will be are some of the many things that make cancer difficult to cope with.

At times, it’s precisely because of this anxiety that one might avoid getting checked. Receiving a colorectal cancer diagnosis can be overwhelming and emotionally charged, and is nothing short of a scary experience. Anthony Demidio, who was diagnosed with rectal cancer in 2019, describes how the word “cancer” alone was enough to cause panic, and how he thought, “I was going to die”.

The initial shock and disbelief can give way to a rollercoaster of emotions, and often it is difficult to immediately process and accept the situation. Jennifer O’Farrell, who normally enjoys the simple pleasures in life, felt that her life “came to a screeching halt” following a stage 4 colon cancer diagnosis.

How then, can you cope with the flood of feelings from your diagnosis?

There is no one correct way to deal with how you feel about your cancer diagnosis. Everyone’s experience is different, and for some, it may be more challenging than others to accept the situation and move forward.

What is important, however, is acknowledging your feelings. It's natural to feel a wave of shock, fear and disbelief. The uncertainty of the future and the fear of the unknown can be paralyzing. You might even ask yourself, "How could this happen to me?" or "Is this a mistake?" Denying reality is a normal reaction to protect yourself from the initial emotional impact. But what happens once reality sinks in, and there’s no denying it?

Fear and anxiety often follow once you begin to come to terms with your diagnosis. The way you feel will continuously evolve, and you might feel angry, sad and frustrated at the unfairness of it all. Feeling guilty, and even isolated by your condition are also feelings that frequently arise. On the flip side, it is also possible to feel neutral about your diagnosis — not everyone will have an emotional reaction to a diagnosis, and this is also okay.

Daryl Lloyd, who had been healthy his entire life, was shocked when he received his colorectal cancer diagnosis. Like many others who were similarly diagnosed and treated, he believes that “it’s ok to be scared, but don’t let that fear paralyze you”. How can you move forward after your diagnosis, and what are the things that you can do to help cope?

Seeking support is one of the most important steps in coping. Needing support from the people around you is normal and healthy, and finding a network of support can help alleviate the burdens you feel emotionally.

Support may come in different shapes and sizes. Robert Roy found comfort in his neighbors and community members, who, “without having to ask … were running errands for [the family], cooking us food, shoveling our walkway and helping with whatever else we needed”.

Jennifer O’Farrell was thankful for the support she received from her surgical oncologist, whose thorough testing helped “put air back in [her] lungs” and “put [her] mind at ease like no one else”. And, despite the difficulties of receiving treatment during the COVID-19 pandemic, Jennifer describes how she “was able to finish treatment with all the same nurses and staff who were there from the very beginning” and how they were major pillars of support who “celebrated [her] success with [her], so [she] never felt alone”.

Besides leaning on others for support, staying informed and educating yourself can also help you through your diagnosis. Learning more about your condition and speaking in depth with your doctors can help reduce the anxiety that accompanies uncertainty about your future. It also empowers you to make informed decisions, especially if you are uncomfortable or unsure about any treatments that are initially recommended to you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to seek a second opinion, as the choice of treatment often has long-lasting impacts on your recovery and life after that.

After coming to terms with your diagnosis, keeping a positive mindset can also help keep you going. David Morschauser, who was diagnosed with rectal cancer and recurrent cancer two years later, says that what’s important is one’s outlook. “After the doctors found the tumor, I was pretty focused on moving forward. Obviously, I was disappointed, but I never let myself get depressed. I didn’t let anybody speak negatively about it, because it was just a problem that needed solving.” Similarly, Anthony Demidio, with the help of his medical team, realized that “ I wasn’t dying of cancer—I was living through it”.

Maintaining a positive mindset is easier said than done. There will be days that are harder than the rest, especially when you are also dealing with the physical aspects of your cancer journey.

You may wonder, how do you find positivity while struggling with cancer? Journalling is one possible way, but even something simple like breathing techniques to help you relax can reduce your stress and anxiety. The sense of calm and relaxation may even be a welcome, albeit temporary reprieve. Finding new hobbies, or staying active can also help improve your overall well-being. Your medical team can advise you on what sort of activities are suitable while you receive treatment.

Receiving a colorectal cancer diagnosis is a life-altering event, and the emotional journey can be tumultuous. It's important to recognize that your feelings are valid and that there are ways to cope with them. Equally importantly, acknowledging that your life will change is also a necessary step.

Cancer changes you, so I know I will never be the same person I was before cancer and that’s OK. — Jennifer O’Farrell

Seek support, stay informed, practice self-care and remember that you are not alone in this journey. As you navigate the challenging path ahead, remember that there is hope and that medical advancements in the treatment of colorectal cancer continue to improve outcomes. Stay strong, stay positive and take one step at a time towards healing.