I had an annual exam after I turned 40. The doctor felt something during the digital exam. PSA was ordered and came back in the 7 range. I was 47 when I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, specifically a prostate adenocarcinoma. There’s really not much spread in the soft tissue, but I have extensive skeletal metastasis. That’s literally head to toe, including in my ribs, collarbone and femora.

I remember feeling angry, fearful and sad. I knew what the surgery entailed, and that the side effects of prostate cancer medicine and surgery are brutal. I was a newlywed. I had just gotten married almost a year prior and I knew that I would be in for a very uncomfortable future. I was only 47, very active and healthy, but I was essentially turned into a weak old man.

Based on my own research and the doctor’s recommendation, I opted for surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, hormone therapy and pain medication. I was "sold" on the idea of cryoablation by the urologist because it statistically had better results and fewer negative side effects.

In total, I underwent five surgeries. The first cryoablation surgery took place in February 2010 and the second in February 2011, followed by three different penile implants. In terms of systemic therapies, I had 11 rounds of chemo over 8 months, 45 sessions of radiation therapy over 2 months and 3 months of pain medication. I was prescribed hormone therapy for 5 years, which I’m still receiving now. Honestly, I was optimistic at the start. I thought I would be cured but I never was.

I now have a permanent urine bag attached to my body. Because of it, I have reduced physical intimacy and increased social anxiety.

In terms of treatment costs, I am covered by insurance.

The worst side effect I experienced as a result of treatment was fatigue. I could no longer fulfill my work obligations and was forced into early retirement. I tried exercising more frequently but could not muster the energy. Other than that, I suffered from hair loss and peripheral neuropathy.

I finally had a living will made and now working on burial arrangements (prepaid) and checking off items on my bucket list.

I needed the income to support myself and my loved ones, so I kept working even after my diagnosis.

I’ve faced challenges in certain aspects of my personal life, namely in my:

• Day-to-day life
• Self-esteem/self-image
• Professional life

However, changes in my social life and relationships with loved ones impacted me the most. To overcome these challenges, I tried everything – oral (Cialis, etc) shots, pneumatic devices, and implants. The suprapubic catheter effectively ended intimacy to 0.

My biggest fears are not being able to continue with normal life or activities and of the impact (of my cancer) on family or relationships. I was afraid to lose my wife since I lost the ability to be intimate. Coping with these fears has meant:

• Speaking to a therapist or counselor
• Focusing on physical recovery and staying active

I’m still angry and sad today. Complications from different surgeries and procedures have left me broken, resentful and mad at myself for choosing a non-standard-of-care surgery (cryoablation).

To other people diagnosed with cancer, I’d say try not to succumb to the fatigue. If you rest, you rust. If you're a person of faith, get closer to your God. Don't put off things that you always wanted to do. Do them now while you can!

Remove the cancer! Try to exercise more. Stick to a better diet with much less processed food/sugar and a lot more fresh fruit and vegetables.